Cultivating Ineptitude: American Society

Here is a short, but to the point rant about ineptitude and how to cure it:

Take the safety labels off of EVERYTHING.

Think about it. It used to be that the kid who swallowed too many legos as a child choked, died, and did not grow to have kids of equal ineptitude. In addition, kids who put their hands in lawnmowers, watched large metal objects in the microwave with their foreheads on the glass, and who played tackle football in the street were most likely doomed for death as well.

There are exceptions though. Say one survives. Well (s)he learns his(er) lesson (we call this evolution) passes these lessons to his(er) children and the species benefits.

There. Problem. Solution.

Humans have tampered with evolution long enough. What is so bad about letting the incompetent die?
==================================

As I was driving in my car today I had a thought: the human race has outpaced evolution.

At first, I was thinking that Darwin was completely wrong, because, obviously, if there was such thing as evolution 59 million Americans would not have made a voluntary decision to vote for George W. Bush.

Then, I realized, that is just what those filthy Republicans want me to think. The whole dumb president thing is just a small part of a large scheme to get people to stop believing in evolution, abortion, homosexuality, and all types of ill shit (ill shit as it is defined by religious zealots and other such freaks).

So then I realized that evolution still is very real. The problem is the huge surge in the human population that started in the 1700s. There is too much safety for humans. We can beat diseases. We can beat starvation. Don't have any money? Oh, you have a credit card, it's like money and, look, there's an Olive Garden! You can eat!

It is too easy for people to survive, that is why so many are fucking dumb. You can get by being dumb. Fuck it, you can be dumb and be the fucking President if you want--Sky's the limit!

I think that we need to dump some chlorine in the gene pool. Seriously, let's get the smartest and strongest and breed them--fuck the dumb shit. Seriously, if I am not chosen among the smartest and strongest, I won't complain, honestly.

For real, if aliens come to take over I am turning SOOOOO traitor.


peace in the middle east (yeah right),

deuce





Not a god damned thing...

Manners and Their Practical Application to Life

Okay, I have noticed a disturbing trend in society. People are fucking stupid.

I wouldn't have so much of a problem with religion, education, and politics if they actually taught people useful things. I mean, honestly, social control is the primary function of these institutions that were originally created for EDUCATION.

For example. If I open the door and stand by it as you approach, don't fucking stand there, go through the damn door. I wouldn't be standing on the wall side of the door if I wanted to go through, I opened it for you. Oh, and if you do somehow manage to find said opening and go through it successfully, a thank you is always the cherry on top. I don't like you, I don't even know you, I do it for the thanks. You see, I collect them.

Another thing, big in my book, PASS LEFT KEEP RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS!!! If I come up on your ass at 80 mph in the left lane and the right lane is so devoid of traffic it resembles the ranks of the prohibitionist party, kindly move to the right lane. Or, you can force me to pass on the right and then flick me off from the comfort of that oh-so-confining left lane. You are a recruiter for the NRA and you don't even know it...

Lastly, a host of others that upset me:

If I give you space in front of me to get over to pass a semi, get over, don't slow down cuz that makes me look like a bad driver and now we're both going slow and blocking both lanes.

You are driving down the street. I am waiting to cross the street. I wave you to continue driving. There you go.. why the FUCK are you stopping?! Did my frantic waving to continue confuse you? Are you epileptic and the fact I have a neon pink shirt with bright yellow gloves cause you to go into seizorama when I waved? No, so keep driving asshole. You car, me pedestrian. I have right of way which I literally waived (+2 Pun Points!) to you.

I swear if they'd just cut the war on drugs and make a "things everyone should know" PSA and send it to everyone this country would start to kick ass again.

Educate yourself, because God, George W. Bush, and your teachers (college and some High School exempt from this comment) aren't going to.




This is not my beautiful wife...

You Are Here To Help Us. NOT To Fuck Us Up.

Does that seem clear to you?

The Deuce and the Doctor have decided that this voyeurism shit is not going down any longer! You read the blog, you react, you leave. See that comments button on the bottom there? No, that's your fucking taskbar. Look in the webpage... no, I said BOTTOM. You fucking...

Anyways, if you laughed, I wanna know about it. If you cried, I wanna feel the fuckin' tears. I want to use this place as an interactive masterpiece, not a fucking news site.

So from now on, you like it, post a comment.
You hate it, post a longer comment.

You think we're wrong? Feel free to post a comment but we'll delete it later and find you and kill you. We're not wrong, YOU'RE WRONG! You are what's wrong with this country. Now hop in your Humbler, drive to your republican upper class neighborhood and get one of your doctor neighbors to surgically remove you head from your ASS!! Seriously, how did you even end up reading this page let alone the logistics of lighting in your rectum...

Rectum... damn near killed em!!

Lastly, if you have a suggestion, man, throw it down because we are some sensitive receptive motherfuckers.




You sing for hoes and sound like the Cookie Monster